Sunday, January 01, 2006

Key to deal with Re-concialiation chamber of horrors

Per the family court laws any dispute will have reconcilation with a women reconciliator. Many of our SIF members and on the ground members reconciliator felt always side with the wife no matter what.

Profile of the reconcilitors

Many of the reconciliator have experts in womens studies & womens issues example Dr. Vijaya Vasanthi is a phd in women's studies , Lalitha shastri started an NGO for women . Many of them are part of womens achivers network . Ambika is part of the women guild , Ujwala Mandgi is celebrated lawyer who fought Anil kumbles child custody cases which effectively sealed any chances for men and they have been reduced to beggin for few hours in childs life

Most of them have tie up with some womens organisation other which have spawned laws which have lead to innocent mean and elders being jailed without cause.

I havent' seen a single reconciliator support for joint custody or giviing for 2-3 daysevery week witht eh husband .
In my personal discussion I have found that they against husbands having any say to prevent an unborn child from being murdered ( aborted )

To my knowledge not a single of them have spoken about the problems of the husbands and the harassment of the men . Not single on fo them have supported making 498a Bailable whcih was recommended by judiciary
We have to understand that this is the product of several centuries of conditioning that men do not deserve anything as rights and are economic & security slaves for the women we cannot personally blame them

How to handle the reconciliation chambers

Give the wife a chance to speak fully utilise the ladies first
Keep a 90 second speach ready and finish it in 90 seconds.
Treat them with respect but politely decline to explain saying that you have already written your plea in the court cases.
Refuse any settlement attempt saying that though you are ready for out of court settlemetn it has to be really out of court.
In case they mention that it is only you and your wife who are involved .
Mention that per societal norms parents are your responsibility and you cannot bring harm to their mental state and any black spots on the their feeling of moral uprightness
If they want to furthur reconcile that you are ready but that courts times should not be wasted and that you are ready to be reconciled at their NGOs or their office out of court hours and bring an SIF counsellor along with you.
This way any blanket statement made on presumptions of men and women can be tackled by SIF counsellor
any detailed reconciliation has to be done with SIF reconcilition becuase many of the protections to be required are ignored in settlements.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Apostate said...

Isn't it ironic that you as a woman are fighting a battle for men, and me as a male-feminist fighting the battle for women :)

With so many loopholes in the Indian constitution, if we make this crime bailable, the treatment of women would plunge to an even lower level than it is right now. Whats the comparative statistics of Wife abuse Vs Husband abuse? The scale is fiercely tipped towards Wife abuse.

Making 498a bailable will make it all too easy for men to take advantage of the lethargic judicial system to get away with their crimes.

10:56 AM  
Blogger Bharati said...

that statistics by Karnatka judiciary suggests that atleast 50% of teh cases are abuse ofthe processof the law. Another comparitive study by professor K Nagraj of Madras Institute of Development Studies suggest that rate of sucide for marrioed men increase by 50% after marrige no such comparison exists for women.

I am not sure that justice system is mean only for women . It meant to project decent people.
The reason why we have to fight against feminists like you is that you advocate for jailing of innocent people under the pretext that a few guilty people may get away .

Merely because a few guilty willnot be prejudged and jailed on complaint is no excuse to jail innocent people . neither is exxuse of lethargic judicial system is enough to satisfy the thousands of innocents like IG radha , Manohar sundas and the 17000 men driven to sucide every year
Merely becuase it is difficult to prove abuse in 4 wall is no excuse to make an innocent prove his innocence.
I do not fight battle for men I fight battle for decent women and I am finding that feminists are fighting the battle for wrong women . I am a strong feminists but will run away from advocating that women take responsibility

8:37 PM  
Blogger Bharati said...

Correction the last staement should read " I am a strong feminists but will not run away from advocating that women take responsibility

8:40 PM  
Anonymous Apostate said...

Bharati said:"Studies suggest that rate of sucide for married men increase by 50% after marrige"

Either this is a great one liner joke or you have no idea what you are saying! Its like saying 50% of married couples are females.

Bharati said:"....you advocate for jailing of innocent people under the pretext that a few guilty people may get away"

If indeed all these people are innocent, they will be discharged with a clean record and the woman who made the false claims would be the one penalized. What is it that the men are afraid of if they have an evidence to prove their innocence.

If you think that the stats tiled towards male abuse, you are more than mistaken.Nor will I trust your stats of 50% abuse, unless I see the actual research paper. Cases of legitimate dowry abuse far outnumber the cases of frivilous claims.

Lastly - please understand what feminism implies before claiming yourself to be one.

Thanks.

7:40 AM  
Anonymous Apostate said...

oops, hit the submit button before finishing my post. Excusez moi :)

Bharati said:"....I fight battle for decent women and I am finding that feminists are fighting the battle for wrong women"

Replace that with, feminists are fighting the battle for wronged women. If we ever find out women who are taking advantage of their gender to reap benefits from law, we won't hesitate a moment to kick their sorry assess.

Feminism advocates gender equality and womens empowerment, but not through surreptitious means. Its a philosophy and not a political force. Its not about profiteering, rather changing the face of socioeconomics in the face of changing times.

7:56 AM  
Blogger Bharati said...

On Advocating Gender equality
I do not even see feminist advocating that Women should pay equal taxes for equal salaries
I do not see feminists advocating that if a man has sex with a women under the promise of marriage then women should be charged with rape
I do not see feminists advocating that men and women should share joint custody
I do not see feminists advocating that for every misterious death of a man the wife should be presumed to be the one who has abetted it
I do not see feminists advocating that adultery is crime in which both men and women are criminals.
I see feminists advocating that women be allowed to kill unborn child

Can you re-read your statement that the statistics that rate of sucicide( I mentioned rate of sucide not total numbers dear by the way ) of men increasing by 50% is like 50% of married people are getting married


would you like to rephrase it or increase your unerstanding of what is seen

regarding the validity of the above stats one has to go to WHO or do some intelligent search on google.

Unfortunately the feminist focus has been on getting some men to pay some womens life style

8:33 PM  
Blogger Bharati said...

Why did feminist jump to the defence of Preety Jain ? ambati family daughter in law ? Doosri radha's wife ? Shabbir Kuma's daughter in Law ? Skoda Poda Girl ?
How many women have feminists kicked ass . how many of the men driven to sucide have been asked to be convicted by the feminists
you asked stats I gave.
Now I ask stats ?

8:37 PM  

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